stopped blogging for a year plus after completing my pharmacy course in UK. or rather, completing my absolutely unforgettable "trip" to UK for a year.. i think no one reads this blog anymore (just as what ms foomeiwen mentioned in her blog too... :P) but part of me am glad really. lol.. its unbelievable what ive wrote in the past!
someone came to me and told me "u girls just never blog anymore after UK, do u? no life ady is it?!"
well he is right. pretty much no life. no life, no time, too tired to write about anything at all.
life has been a roller coaster for me in the past two years.
like today for instance.. i spent almost an hour reading a blog that i should have NEVER read... i felt like a fool after reading and totally lost my appetite for my lou shu fan on the table. i feel like the emoticon i always used back when i was on MSN. the crazy woman banging her head on the table and shaking her head non stop! =.="
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i hate putting myself in such a condition! but i always do so! pushing myself to the maximum that i cannot take it anymore and break down... just because i really wanna know the truth about everything!!!!
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been working on a song lately. samm was supposed to compose for me and ive been working on the lyrics.. sis told me to sing a song on her wedding. so i thought, hmmm i might as well write a praise and worship song and sing..... =)
u see.. she told me to be her wedding planner. apparently she was too kiamsiap to hire one.. shrug, she will regret saving that eenie meenie amount of money.. :P and my parents are so excited about my voice when they hear me sing again that day. they wanted me to record a CD. they even agreed that my very-often-late-night outings pay off pretty well =.=" i think my parents and one and only sis are starting to lose their mind......
sometimes i wish i was a much more selfish person that i will just be so rebellious and say anything i want, do anything i want without thinking of the consequences. u see, sometimes u naturally do things for the people u love.. u dont want them to get hurt, to get into trouble or to be sad...... so even when you're ultra sad and broken, u would just either cry them off alone or bear with the painful moments for God knows how long yourself...........
i was once with a person who made me feel like the happiest little girl in his palms. every weekend the only thing i look forward to is to SEE him and the most dreadful thing was to watch him LEAVE every Sunday night. things got ugly and ever since then, i've never given my heart away.. people ask ALL the time.. "how could you not have a boyfriend?"
how could i have a boyfriend should be the ultimate question. guys do EVERYTHING they can to win ur heart when they want you. trust me when i say i know this well enough.
99 roses delivered to the doorstep? checked!
a bouquet of flowers delivered to college/uni? checkec checked! a few times
a tiffany & co necklace? checked!
romantic candle light dinner? checked checked checked! a few times, again..
playing guitar and singing song? checked! and it was absolutely touching! like, so?
telling you how long they've waited for you to agree to be their gf? owh.. so old skool and still, it works on a lot of girls!
driving 3 and a half hours to see you just because you were angry? yeah, for the first time, see how long that will last!
so yes. from my mum not believing that i wont be in a relationship anymore. to now, my mum is actually worried i'm serious about not getting married and will never get married. she so wanna get rid of me! =.=
things i miss :
my mix combi of friends. from the left: 30 yr old mummy, ultra 30 po, *skip*, super guai girl, fierce and inpatient girl, unpredictable and quiet girl, my favourite mummy cum my used-to-be twin in OPD and lastly, manja yet independent girl!
my sam cum uni mates!
my housemates in UK! the beautiful weather in Amsterdam~ :(
i miss my final grad night where my big time ang moh crush told me i looked absolutely beautiful that night. i almost melted!
i miss being wrapped like a bak zhang! and that phone....... i miss it!
my discipler in Glasgow..theres so many things i wanna do.
i wanna sing again.
i wanna take a step forward in my education life.
i wanna move to a new place.
i need to be all hyped up about life again!
Dear Lord, tell me Your plans for me so that i won't feel like a lost meh-meh =(
p/s - i hope mummy didnt read this! Amen.
darn it! i wanna go home NOW! =.=
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